Letter to Vinay

 Dear vinay,

Hope you are fine, I am fine too. I write this letter to reminisce about our days in L&T, house 287.

Where do I start? The best scene that comes to my mind whenever I talk about is the one from Kabir Singh, 

Vinay .... Pratap ..... Singh, topper of the batch, topper of the class, best employee of the company,

But in Stress management, ZERO.

-- Show some bloody respect to the champion.

The description fits perfectly with a scene from Kabir Singh. I consider you a close friend and even a brother. Thinking about you brings a smile to my face and floods me with memories. Despite being flat mates for four years, we were strangers for almost two. However, as other flat mates vacated, we got the chance to talk, and our friendship blossomed. It's funny how the pandemic made our friendship possible.

I appreciate being able to be myself around you without fear of judgement. You even encouraged my singing, despite not always liking it. I sense a poet hiding in your heart, waiting to be set free. Also, listen to your conscience and take breaks when necessary

Remember when we almost crashed the car on the way to pay the electricity bill? I can still hear the background music and see the original Ghaziabadi Vinay at the counter. Although your anger is not uncommon, I won't bring up the Ooty incident, poor Sujeet. I must admit that Biyani and I talked about it behind your back, but we never dared to bring it up to you. And the time you and Archit got angry just from exchanging heated looks, "AAJA...AAJA" still rings in my ears.

I'm amazed by how hardworking you are, even pulling off a 72-hour workday in just 24 hours. You've taught me to be helpful, but you struggle with saying "no." I would love to give you "The Art of Saying No" if you would tell me your real date of birth.

We have shared many good memories, although most of them involved not being sober. The bonfire on the balcony, the time you claimed to be sober, and the push-up challenge are just a few. You have never been a disturbance, and we have never had any distrust between us. You even took care of me when I was inebriated.

We've enjoyed many rides to Agra and Jaipur, but I was terrified when you pulled the clutch downhill on our way back from Nehargarh. During the pandemic, we drank a lot and ate plenty of food, but your favorite was always Biriyani blues. You were the savior of all the street vendors, and they will miss you dearly.

I must confess that I talked about you behind your back with Ajay, Prashant, and Bhaiyya, but it was always for your benefit. You were one of the few people at work that I could rely on to get the tricky parts done. You were always supportive when I was low.

I'm sorry for all that you've been through lately. Please take care of yourself and your parents. I miss you, my friend.

P.Suneel

The fear to freedom in Delhi

Is this a letter, an article or a dip into the feeling of my heart? I dont know and i cant say for sure. I know i would share this for sure, so lets call it a letter.

Just after my college I was lucky enough to be placed in L&T, the company will always have a special place in my heart and I will always get to enjoy the pride of being an L&Tite. Just like how my mother had given me a life to live and lead, L&T has given me a career to work on. It was 3rd july, I joined L&T in Chennai, Later posted to Faridabad, Delhi NCR EDRC design centre. I was very happy and curious to know the nature of my work.I was a rather shy guy, infact i still am. But thats untill i know you for some time. I am an introvert, I keep my circle small and things to myself, thanks to my experiences in College. there were not many guys whom i used to trust.

I was alone in Chennai, I knew Hindi well enough to roam north but Tamil was alien to me. I remember writing the joining story but never published it, and now i forgot where i wrote it. i was too shy to talk to people, tol shy to even say hi and hello. I saw other joinees were mingling with each other at the Novotel hotel where we stayed for a brief period of time.

I met my friend Ajay there, it was rather a funny incident. I was too afraid to be left off and asked him to call me too, when the bus leaves, he still remembers my innocent face and the way i asked. "who recruited kids" he thought to himself. not his mistake, i was like that then, thanks to my broken self esteem whatsoever be the reason. Later I went to some training where i made some more people but just like my old friends, they too were hurting, i was on the verge of loosing faith in good friends, until one day finally all the temporary people having vacated from my life, I started opening myself to new ones and some permanent ones.

I became close with Ajay, Prashant, Vinay, Rohit and Monark, they became close to me in my four years of stay in Delhi. I developed love for bikes, we went on many bike trips and I started to sing, which I do only when I am happy on the Inside. i went on many adventurous bike rides with them and enjoyed my fullest. The office was hectic but entertaining at the same time. The politics were engaging, The back bitching was fun and the memories of me going into rage are funnier. These new memories filled a new hope in me. If not for them, I would have been a different person all together.

Like I would not have taken a bold step to shift to Bangalore. I would not stop living in past, holding on to metaphysical feelings.

I tried new things and it was good for me. At last I became happy and thats what matters the most.

We went to many tours and trips and developed a liking for travelling and exploring. I have always been a traveller my whole life, i just got to know that I am when i am with them.

I can not pinpoint why and when I started liking my friends, but when I feel I miss them, I know how good of friends i have and how much they have touched my life.

I was in a sinking ship and the SOS call was not reching my ears, I was adamant not to vacate taking pride on being captain of my sinking ship, I never called them, but they rescued me and showed me there is still a candle of hope burning in the stormy winds, there is still another day to live and lead.

I often ponder on whys' and whens' of my affection but the best part is, had there been one, my friendship wouldn't be so special.

Miss you guys

Hope to meet you once again.

P.Suneel